Week 3

In case you are keeping track, this should really be week 4. But I was battling some sort of bug the week before Thanksgiving, and I didn't focus as much on this small part of my life as I should have. So I am picking up where I left off.

Monday: 
1) Left $1 at Barnes and Noble again for the next customer at the coffee shop. Once again, I was able to catch the cashier off guard in a good way. That feeling makes me happy and sad all at the same time. I'm happy that I can restore a little faith in the human race, but I'm sad that it take a small thing like that to do that.

2) I sent an e-mail message to two former supervisors who I miss dearly. I learned a lot from my time with them and I appreciated all of their teaching and mentoring. I thought I should let them know in case they didn't already.

Tuesday: 
1) I left a quarter in a vending machine for the next person to find. Someone was in the room with me and talking to me when I bought my pop and he may have noticed that I didn't grab my change, but he didn't say anything. I don't judge though. The money was there to be taken by someone as a nice surprise.
2) While at the grocery store to buy things for the pot luck lunch at work the next day, I was in line in front of someone who only had two things in their load. It was two days before Thanksgiving and no one wanted to be at the grocery store, so I let them go in front of me.
Wednesday: I bought coffee for my co-worker on our way to work. She was nice enough to give me a ride that morning so that the husband could come pick me up and we could get straight on the road for Thanksgiving  so it was really the least I could do.
Thursday: Believe it or not, it was difficult to find something to do on Thanksgiving. I was in the same place all day long with the same people. I complimented my mother in law on her food, and sent a message to a lot of people telling them I was thankful to have them in my life. Also, I was dragged to some early Black Friday shopping that evening my my impulsive and wonderfully crazy husband. While in the madness at the store, a woman really needed a copy of the ad that I had in my hand, so I gave it to her to keep. This was no real sacrifice on my part, as I already knew what I was getting and was in line to get it, but she certainly appreciated it.
Friday: I'll be honest, I didn't do anything Friday. I cooked dinner for the husband, something I have only ever cooked once before and I did a pretty good job. But we would have had dinner anyway, so this was no real sacrifice or act of kindness. My shoulder was radiating pain from the driving and the shopping the night before, so I had taken a muscle relaxer Thursday night. If any of you have ever taken one of these, you know it makes you a zombie the next day. I slept late, then took a nap, then went to bed early. I was well rested, but not very nice.
Saturday: I let someone merge in front of me in traffic. I took the husband out to a new place for dinner, and participated in Small Business Saturday by going to a small local place. It was amazing food, and I will definitely be going there again.
Sunday: I sent an e-mail to a friend who is having a medical procedure tomorrow. It is routine and I am sure she will be fine, but I thought I'd send a reassuring message anyway.

Something I said in this entry brings me to the question of whether or not a "good" random act of kindness has to have some sort of sacrifice. I don't like to use the word good, as it portrays a judgement, and judgement is the last thing that should be happening when kindness is the objective. But I'd love to hear people's thoughts on whether or not these acts of kindness should involve some sort of sacrifice, be it time, money or patience that I would not otherwise have.

And some other food for kind thoughts:


This is one of the biggest struggles that I think a lot of people have, as it seems to be instinct to get defensive and be unkind when people are unkind to us. But I think some of those people that are unkind are striking out because how much they have been hurt, and they might need someone to be kind to them just so they remember that not everyone is as terrible as people may have been to them in the past.

Week 2

Summary of my random acts of kindness for the week:

Monday: Let someone walk in front of me at a crosswalk in a parking lot instead of making them stand and wait longer.
Tuesday: Complimented someone on their outfit. (And I'm not sure if it counts, but I did NOT ram into a car in front of me with a Todd Akin bumper sticker on it, and I was not mean to any of the people handing out info on his behalf. It took a lot of restraint, and I think it was a very nice thing to do, to just let these people be.)
Wednesday: Left a nickel in the "Leave a Penny, Take a Penny" pile at a gas station.
Thursday: Left my change in the pop machine after buying one. It was only a dime, but it's always a nice surpise to find extra change when you don't expect it.
Friday: I bought a Diet Pepsi for a co-worker because I know he likes them, and I did not ask if he wanted one when I went out the day before. Also, I gave a friend a card and a gas gift card as a little pick me up since his wife has been in the hospital for a while.
Saturday: Held the door for the next person at a gas station when I was getting my coffee at an insanely early hour.
Sunday: I did a craft fair this weekend with a friend. As we were packing up our stuff to leave on Sunday, it was raining, which was a giant pain. I helped her carry out some of her stuff so she had one less trip to make in and out of the rain.

Nothing too creative this week. On Monday I waited over an hour in the waiting room of my doctor's office and I did not take this out on the receptionist, which a lot of people do. I thougt that was pretty nice of me too, but the lack of doing something mean does not necessarily mean I did anything nice. I was not feeling well on Tuesday and I worked late Wednesday and Thusday. It was a long week, and I wasn't feeling very positive, but I powered through anyway. And every time I did something nice for someone, I felt a little better about myself.

By the way, a few people told me that they wanted to leave a comment but they were unable to. So I checked my settings on this blog and changed them, so now people can leave comments. So feel free to do so if you want!

Week 1

Summary of my random acts of kindness for the week:

Monday: held the door at the gas station for the guy delivering pop. Yes, pop.
Tuesday: I was at Barnes and Noble doing case notes on my way home from work, because it's a nice little place to sit and type with few distractions. As I was leaving, I gave the guy at the counter in the cafe a dollar, asking him to apply this dollar to the next purchase made, whoever it was made by.
Wednesday: I have a friend whom I have not heard from or seen an online presence from in a while, and I usually will either see them or see them online a few times a week. I sent a message to her (electronically, but at least it's something) asking if everything was okay and telling her I would help if I could. I still haven't heard anything from her, but I hope she at least knows I care.
Thursday: Although I probably should not have done this, I bought a small bag of chips for a client as we took a long road trip to a rehab facility to check her in.
Friday: I let someone cross in front of me at an intersection when I actually had the right of way.
Saturday: I passed up a closer parking spot at a store when I could have parked there and let the person in the parking lot behind me take it.
Sunday: I let someone merge in front of me when approach one of St. Louis's crazy exit only lanes.

Not too shabby for my first week, I don't think. A lot of traffic niceties, and not that there is anything wrong with that, but I think I can do better and be more creative. My favorite thing I did this week was leaving the dollar at Barnes and Noble on Tuesday. The cashier first looked at me like I was a weirdo, but when I told him it was my random act of kindness for the day, he smiled and said "very good". I hope I inspired him or the recipient of the money to pay it forward.

Little things for little people

It's a dinosaur hat for little heads! I am afraid I will not have very many of these for my upcoming craft fair, but I love this, so I am going to try to make as many as I can. The flash made the spikes look white, but they are actually light blue.

 And this has little bear ears. I think anything with ears on a small child is adorable, so I'm hoping this is a popular one. This is another one that I am going to try and make more of before the craft fair next weekend, maybe in a few other shades of brown so there is a variety.

And of course, I have also started making the "I'm a girl!" headband. You know, those headbands with big flowers on them that people put on their bald babies so that strangers know that their babies are girls. I have these in pink and purple and some variegated yarn as well.

Those are just some examples of things I hope to sell a lot of next weekend. I'll report back on how I did. Last time I made quite a bit of money at this craft fair, and I hope this time is even better.

"I think you're rich."

That was a comment made to me by a client last week, and it has been on my mind for a while now. I can't figure out what makes her think that, and I can't figure out why the comment bothers me. So maybe by putting my thoughts out here, I can flush it out and figure out what's going on in my head.

I remember when I was a child, there was this house that always fascinated me. It was on a busy street and I would go past it often, whenever we went anywhere that involved going south on Pulaski. This house was kind of by itself, there were stores and a strip mall across the street, but nothing on that side that I can remember except that house for about a block on each side. This house was abandoned, but at one point it was probably a nice house for someone, but nothing extravagant. I remember wondering why someone would leave their home and why no one had ever moved in to it and taken care of it. Keep in mind, I was a child, and knew nothing about finances and the complications of owning a home. I don't think I had ever heard the word foreclosure  and I certainly wouldn't have understood it if I did hear it. The house just always fascinated me, and I thought about the people who might have lived there and why no one lived there anymore. Although I did not know anything about mortgages or escrow or home loans, I did know that if you did not pay your bills, you couldn't live in your house anymore. So I thought that they must not have been able to pay their bills, and I thought that was sad. I don't know anything about the strength of the people who ever lived in the home, but the strength of that house was pretty amazing. In my earliest memories of this house, there were no windows left, and no doors. Eventually some of the walls started to fall apart, and you could see into the house. Floorboards were falling apart and drywall was rotting inside. I remember seeing this house for years, even after we moved out of the area to another suburb, because we had family that direction and best friends there that I wanted to visit a lot. The state of this house deteriorated over the years, but I was always surprised that the house was still standing as the years passed. I don't remember how old I was, but I do remember that it had finally fallen down and then eventually it was cleared away. The house is now gone, but my memories are still very clear.

I attribute that house to my interest in poverty. My social stratification class was one of my favorite classes in college and I feel like I learned so much in that class about social status and how it works. I went to college in a town that has a great deal of poverty. I just did a quick search and it turns out that the median income there in 2009 was about $24, 000. That's not much to live on for a year, especially since that is the median household income. So families with kids are living somewhere around that level.

I have worked in non-profit for the majority of my grown up life, first at Planned Parenthood and now in a rural area counseling kids. I have never gotten paid much due to this. I spent time being "college poor", where I ate a lot of Ramen and not much else, but I still had a roof over my head and family to support me, although they didn't have a ton to spare either. I lived off excess of student loans and whatever I could make at a part time job. I have also been "newlywed poor", which is probably the poorest I have ever been. We didn't have much to spare for anything, and I can distinctly remember doing our taxes that first year and looking at each other wondering how we even kept our electricity on. I know that I was not rich growing up, but I never heard a lot about money and my parents always kept me thinking that we were fine. Our utilities never got shut off and we never got kicked out of our house, but I know there wasn't a lot of extra to go around. Now? Well, I certainly am not the breadwinner, that's for sure. But we are definitely comfortable, and as I told my client when she said she thought I was rich, my bills can all be paid. And this was definitely not always the case.

I guess I feel like by saying that I am rich, it is assuming I have not had to struggle. I have not had the same struggles that some of my clients and their families have had, and I am not going to pretend I have. But I have had to choose which bills get paid first, and which I can get behind on before they will shut it off. I have lived for a little while on money that I got from selling CDs to the used music and movie store in town. And I have definitely had times where a trip to Wal Mart was a luxury, not a necessity. But I also admit that my life has certainly not been that hard. I have had my own struggles, monetarily and not.

So am I rich? Well, I have wonderful friends that I love. I am in love with my husband and I glad every day that he continues to put up with me and be glad to spend the rest of his life with me. I have a job, which is more than a lot of people have right now, and most of the time, I enjoy this job. I have two degrees, paid for by student loans, but I still have two degrees. I have a wonderful dog, who is well taken care of. And if I want to buy new shoes, most of the time I can without worrying about it (except the crap that the aforementioned husband will give me about yet another pair of shoes). And, as I told my client, I can pay the bills and still have some left for fun and occasionally spoiling people I love. So I guess, if that makes me rich, then yes, I am. But I still appreciate the struggle people have and work to help people who have this struggle.