Kindness and Gratitude When The World Tries To Hold You Down

I feel like something has been going on this year that has been trying to beat me down and hold me back. It seems I haven't gone one month without some sort of tragedy or major life change. But I am not one to give up. I never really have been. I get dramatic and have been known to flop on my bed with a giant, soap opera worthy sigh, but giving up is not something I do. So on that note, I look the first 5 months of 2013 in the face and express my gratitude and continue to be kind. I know this is a tradition usually reserved for Thanksgiving, but in an effort to shake off the karma demons that have been after me, here is a list of things I am thankful for so far this year.

Things I Am Thankful For This Year

• I am grateful for the time that I got to spend with Carrie before we had to put her down. I am also grateful that we had the means to take care of her as long as we did and could give her the best life (and death) possible. 
• I am grateful that the husband has moved back in. Although it has seemed like non-stop drama since he got here, it's been great to feel like we're really married again. And on this note, I am grateful for the ease of the transition to living together again. There were some bumps (like reminding him that I do not grocery shop on Sunday afternoon with the rest of the world) but it has been pretty smooth.
• I am so, so grateful for my new job. I am trusted there and treated like I am intelligent and competent. I remember why I love counseling. This is what I was trained for, this is how the profession is supposed to be: rewarding, challenging and intellectually stimulating. I no longer feel stagnant and bored. I am also so thankful for the compliments I have received in the past few months from people telling me how good I look. This sounds conceited, but people everywhere have been telling me that I look like I've lost weight, or I look different somehow. While I don't think I've lost weight, I know I feel like a giant weight has been lifted from me. This has made me carry myself differently and act differently. 
• I am thankful for my friends and family (especially my husband) who stuck by me through the terribleness that was the last year. I swear, I didn't know how bad off I was until I was out of the fog. Luckily, I have good friends and family who love me anyway. 
• I am grateful that although the husband had to spend five days in the hospital last month due to a broken thumb and subsequent infection, we did not have to worry about having the means to take care of the bills from the hospital stay. That's right, I said it. I am grateful for Tricare. This will probably be the only time I ever say that, so soak it in while you can. 

I should mention that I did get my karmic return in a little way this month. I found myself in the drive through at Starbucks (find me a Starbucks and I will establish it as my satellite office!) and as I pulled to the window to pay, I got the greatest surprise. The cashier at the window told me that the person in front of me had paid for my drink. I was way more exited about this than the barista thought I should be, judging by her reaction, but this was a REAL random act of kindness. I paid it forward, of course, by paying for the person behind me. It truly made my day that this happened to me and that I could continue the trend. I wonder how many cars this went on for. 

I told my parents this story when I went to visit last weekend. My mom told her boss, who replied with "That would never happen here." Why not? People can be kind anywhere. When I told my parents the story, my mom had a bunch of comments, like "I wonder if they did that just to see what you would do..."  and "How did you know that they person behind you didn't order a ton of stuff?" It doesn't really matter, does it? Why analyze it? Just go with it and pay it forward.