First off, I started a new job. I absolutely love it. I was so burnt out at my old job, and I didn't even realize it until I wasn't there anymore. I feel the need to apologize to everyone in my life that has been neglected in the past few years because of my feelings of burn out. I am in such a better place in my life now. I have remembered how much I love counseling and working with these kids to see change. I am getting a larger variety of opportunities now, and although I thought I had seen quite a lot in my previous job, I am seeing so much more now. Changing jobs has required me to learn a new dance of sorts. Tactics and organizational things that I used in the past might not work now. My schedule is very different. I have a whole new set of policies and practices to learn, and I am getting a lot of training on new therapy skills. I'm learning the steps, but like all dances, you stumble a bit in the beginning and at the end it can become art. I think I am getting closer to the art, but it took some stumbling to get here.
I want to talk for a brief minute about the loss from the title of this post. Shortly after leaving my old job, one of my co-workers there passed away. He was not a spring chicken, but he was too young to have had this happen to him. His name was Tom. I learned a lot from Tom in my three years at that job. He had a lot of wisdom to share and I think he was at his best when we came to him to ask him to share this wisdom. He was a little grumpy at times, and a little rough around the edges, but underneath his occasional growling and door slamming, he had a wonderful heart and a great sense of humor, randomly singing Christmas carols sometimes and coming in my office just to kick my chair and give me a smile. I was thinking of those times when he showed his wonderful heart and came up with one very important time that he extended a random act of kindness to me and I am going to share this.
One day over the summer, a client of mine just showed up at the office, hoping to speak to me. She had a fight with her mother and was feeling very frustrated and wanted to talk about this. We had a great session and although I don't think things ever became wonderful with her mother, I know that I helped her that day. After my other sessions that day, I checked my e-mail, and there was an e-mail from Tom. It was short and sweet, and said that he was impressed with my ability to build a rapport with my clients and the client showing up at the office had been a testament to that good rapport. That was the day I started a folder in my e-mail titled :-) Anytime there was an e-mail that made me smile for some reason, I put it in that folder. When I was having a bad day, I would look through those e-mails and they would make me smile. So I thank Tom for sending me this e-mail to start that little folder. He probably didn't think anything of it, but it meant a lot to me.
Another thing that we have been dealing with here is grieving the diagnosis of our dog's lymphoma. We took her to the vet a few weeks ago because we were concerned about her lack of eating. The vet gave us a preliminary diagnosis that day and then confirmed the diagnosis a few days later when the results came back from her tests. He gave us several options for treatment, and we are choosing chemotherapy. It doesn't effect dogs like it does people, she won't lose her hair or get sick. It will actually help her to get some energy back and start eating again. The vet seems optimistic about treatment and we should get some more good, healthy time with our girl. It's been rough to handle this, but the husband and I are muddling through. It's a first for both of us, and we'll take any good thoughts or prayers for strength that we can get.
With all the change and grief in our lives, I am trying to make it a point to be kind, and see kindness as well. Today at work, we got to write compliments to our co-workers and put them in a bowl to be read aloud at the meeting. I had such a great time doing that, as my new co-workers have been so patient, kind and giving to me since I started. Some other kindness highlights:
- I shadowed someone for a few appointments just after I started, and I know that can be hard on someone to have a co-worker following them around. So I sent her an e-mail the next day thanking her and she really appreciated it.
- I was sitting at a Starbucks, doing some case notes, and there were some kids there with their parents. These kids were super cute, and very well behaved while their parents were sharing coffee. I went up to them as I left and complimented them on their children's wonderful behavior. They looked so shocked that someone would do that, but there are so many bad and apathetic parents out there, I think the good ones should be acknowledged.
- The husband and I bought the neighbor beer after he used his snow blower on my driveway after watching me struggle with it. Say what you will about living in the suburbs, but in my cul-de-sac, I have a neighbor with a snow blower, and that rocks. I don't know if that beer was so much an act of kindness as it was a payback, but it was at least a pay back for his act of kindness.
- Of course, I continue to hold doors and perform traffic niceties at times. I keep this up as much as I can, even though I struggle at times.
I'll try and visit this more often, so maybe the posts won't be so long! It will also help to keep me accountable. Hope you are still reading this, even though I've been AWOL for a while.
